when I sleep with trans girls they'll like, seek my shoulders and snuggle there like cats (something which single-handledly cured me of shoulder dysphoria). or they'll hug my chest for warmth, or mew pleadingly if I turn away for a second to drink water, or lift their blankets in a chilly night so that I get to big spoon from skin distance, at which point they breathe relaxedly. all while asleep or half-asleep. often I meet girls who are touch-averse or need distance to sleep, which is good and valid and I'm happy to respect, then at some point I'm surprised by soft girl skin seeking me late at night.
I have chronic insomnia so I get to watch a lot of this unconscious behaviour happen, and this is one way I know my community, my poor traumatised sensitive marginalised community, trusts me. I want to keep working on my emotional skills and conflict handling and housemaking and be a good thing for my girls and queers who deserve it so much. I want to be worthy of their trust and to return the happiness and acceptance I needed all my life and now have in abundance. I would do anything for my community.